7 Rules for Rocky Relationships

I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships lately. Because after all, it’s our connections, our relationships with the people and animals and everything else around us, that make life worth while, wouldn’t you agree?

But relationships aren’t always easy. And no wonder, because they are the vehicle through which we learn and grow. And growing can be painful, sometimes.

If you are a sensitive, empathic person, one of the biggest trip-ups of being in a relationship is that it’s really easy to get lost in it. You can get so identified and influenced by the other person and their emotions that it can be difficult to distinguish between your own feelings and needs and those of the other person.

To complicate things, a relationship is more than the sum of its parts. In other words, when you have a relationship between two people, in addition to Me and You, there is also an energetic entity that is the Relationship between the two of us.

Sometimes, your energies will be so vibrationally resonant that just being near the other person is energizing and healing.

And sometimes—even if you love each other—your individual energies may not mesh too well. When that happens, neither of you is likely to thrive.

If both you and the other person are relatively healthy, this may not be too bad. But if one or the other or both of you are unbalanced in any way, watch out. Because it WILL affect all aspects of your being. And it can become quite the ordeal.

That is why emotional self discipline and psychic protection are so important. Because if you’re not in control of your own mind, your own emotions, you can unconsciously wreak havoc on others. And they can wreak havoc on you. Even if you love each other.

If you are in a relationship that doesn’t feel quite right at some level, it’s critical to learn to distinguish between what’s yours and what’s theirs. Energetic cord cutting is a must; I highly suggest calling on Archangel Michael for help with this. (Or book a session with me* or another energy worker you trust to help you.)

But since the emotions that come up in a relationship situation can be so overpowering, it’s also helpful to be intellectually aware of what a healthy relationship actually looks like (or doesn’t).

Here are a few things to consider if you happen to be in a rocky relationship:

1. Spirit, Self, Others. Tune in first to higher guidance, then to your own heart, then to others’ emotions, and act accordingly. Doing it out of order is likely to throw you off track.

2. Pathos is a piss-poor substitute for passion. Learn to tell the difference.

3. A relationship that (intentionally or otherwise) results in isolation is not reflective of the Light.

4. Healthy relationships make your heart sing—a phenomenon that can’t be forced through guilt or wishful thinking.

5. Compromising one’s own integrity in a relationship is one of the most insidious forms of violence, harming not just self but everyone involved (and ultimately all of life.)

6. The body doesn’t lie. Check in with your physical reactions towards the other person – they are often more truthful than what your mind wants you to believe. (One caveat though – be aware that sexual attraction can mask all sorts of red flags. Stay in control.)

7. When a partnership is no longer a vehicle for growth, it’s acceptable and appropriate to dissolve it and allow all parties to move on to new opportunities and relationships more supportive of their highest potential. No blame, no guilt.

Finally, it can help to keep in mind that as healing happens within, so it reflects without. Whether your inner changes result in greatly improved and more loving relationships (as often happens), or you end up moving on, be assured that any balancing and strengthening you do for your inner self WILL affect your relationships, and as long as you do it in the spirit of Love, it WILL be for the highest good.

 

 

Feeling stuck in a relationship is no fun. (In fact it sucks.) Spirit animals can be super helpful allies in this department, because animals call it like it is. The awareness they bring can really help in untangling those binding relationship cords so you can finally experience healing and/or release in your relationships.

*This week only (through March 21, 2017), you can book a Spirit Animal reading and/or healing session at 14% off (since today is March 14th!) Just use coupon code lucky14 when you book your session here.

Did you enjoy this post? Christie

Did you enjoy this post? If you did, you will enjoy my newsletter, too. I share positive affirmations, spirit animal information and artwork, and spiritual insights for awakening souls. You will also get a free guided meditation to help you meet your Spirit Animal! Just hit the “follow” tab in the menu up top to subscribe.

All Your Relations

“You never realize how many relatives you have until you start talking to the old ones,” quipped my son last night.

My two kids and I had just arrived home from nearly two weeks hanging out with relatives out East. You may remember I wrote you last week from Baltimore, where we stayed with my first cousin once removed and his family. From there we paid a visit to my uncle in Richmond, VA, who treated us to a day at Colonial Williamsburg.

 

Then it was on to Charleston, WV, to meet Harriett, a cousin of my grandmother Josephine, who informed me that I actually have cousins in Williamsburg. (I’d had no idea).

 Harriett is 92 and sharp as a tack, still driving safely and climbing the stairs daily to her 2nd floor apartment. (That’s her at right below. She carries a cane “just in case,” but I never say her actually use it.) We had a great time eating Japanese hibachi with her daughter Julia and family. It took us a while to calculate that Julia’s kids are my kids’ third cousins once removed!

 

During one of our chats, Harriett suggested that we stop by Pittsburgh to visit my grandmother’s favorite cousin, Elizabeth Ann. So we did. E.A. is 98 and just as bright and spry as Harriett. We had a delightful visit with her and her daughter, Julie, too. (Bet you can guess which one is E.A.!) 

So why am I telling you all this?

Well, it’s all about the value of relationships.

By the time someone is third cousins with you, how meaningful is that relationship, really? After all, on average your shared variable genetic material from common ancestors is less than 1%. In other words, some of these people are not too much more “related” to me than any random person off the street.
 
Yet, just that drop of common ancestry was enough to forge a bond between us, and instantly open our hearts and homes to each other– even though some of us were perfect strangers just a few days ago. I am now infinitely richer for having met and shared my life with these people, even for a short time.
 
Strange, isn’t it? But maybe it’s not so strange. As it turns out, we humans are vastly more closely related to each other than individuals of most species are.
 
Scientists have calculated that any two chimps staring at each other across a river in Cameroon are more genetically diverse than any two humans from different continents. In fact, when it comes down to total genetic content (as opposed to just the genetic material that differs from one human to the next), you yourself are upwards of 99% identical to me and to every other human on the planet.
 
Think about it. How would your life be different if everyone treated you like the long-lost relative you really are?
 
And what kind of difference could you make in someone else’s life? Not that you have to let strangers into your home. But next time you meet one, might you treat them a little differently? Perhaps greet them with a smile knowing they are a cousin of yours?
 
A smile instead of a blank stare can make a huge difference in someone’s day. Added up over time, a smile a day could save a life.
 
And what about the other living things we share this planet with? You’ve probably heard that humans are 98% identical to our closest relations, chimpanzees. This is true. And to put it into even sharper perspective, about 60% of your genes are identical to those of a banana.
 
Knowing that that banana is a cousin probably won’t stop most people from dropping it into their smoothie. (At least it shouldn’t.) 🙂 But maybe, just maybe, it might change their perspective.
 
To one of gratitude. Respect. And even love.
 
How might that change the world?

Did you enjoy this post? Christie

Did you enjoy this post? If you did, you will enjoy my newsletter, too. I share positive affirmations, spirit animal information and artwork, and spiritual insights for awakening souls. You will also get a free guided meditation to help you meet your Spirit Animal! Just hit the “follow” tab in the menu up top to subscribe.